Harry Potter and the Songs of Doom
by The Quidditch Gals
Summary: A Harry Potter Operetta. Each character sings to the tune of a different song in this muscial. What happens when WeasleyGirl and Rhiannon are on a sugar high.....
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: We own none of the characters, or the tune of the songs, just what they say.  
  
A/N: This is what happens when WeasleyGirl and Rhiannon (aka Jenn and Alicia) spend the night at Alicia's house, get on a major sugar high, and can't fall asleep at 4 in the morning. Scary? You betcha. Are we going to do this ever again? Most likely. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Harry Potter and the Songs of Doom  
  
A Harry Potter Operetta  
  
~By: WeasleyGirl and Rhiannon~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
{DUMBLEDORE walks out onto the middle of the stage. A spotlight is shone on him. He begins to sing.}  
  
  
DUMBLEDORE: [sing to the tune of "The Wheels on the Bus"]  
  
A long time ago there was Voldemort  
Voldemort  
Voldemort  
A long time ago there was Voldemort who tried to destroy the world.  
  
Along came Harry Potter  
Potter  
Potter  
Along came Harry Potter who refused to die.  
  
When Voldie tried to kill him  
Kill him  
Kill him  
When Voldie tried to kill him Lily got in the way.  
  
Lily's loved saved Harry  
Harry  
Harry  
Lily's loved saved Harry and banished Voldiemort.  
  
He went to live with the Dursleys  
The Dursleys  
The Dursleys  
He went to live with the Dursleys who locked him in the cupboard.  
  
Until he got a letter from Hogwarts  
Letter from Hogwarts  
Letter from Hogwarts  
Until he got a letter from Hogwarts when he was finally free.  
  
  
{DUMBLEDORE bows and exits stage left. HARRY POTTER enters stage right and steps into the spotlight. He looks a little nervous.}  
  
  
HARRY POTTER: [sing to the tune of "Merrily We Roll Along"]  
  
When I came to Hogwarts I didn't know magic  
Didn't know magic.  
When I came to Hogwarts I didn't know magic at all.  
  
Now I am so popular   
Popular  
Popular  
Now I am so popular cuz I'm a Champion! Hey!  
  
  
{HARRY POTTER exits stage left. RON WEASLEY enters stage right. He practically bouncing off the walls as he just ate way too many Sugarquills and is on a sugar high}  
  
  
RON WEASLEY: [sing to the tune of "Hi Ho, Hi Ho" blah blah blah.forgot the name of the song, sorry!]  
  
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Hogwarts I go.  
To learn some magic and hopefully  
Not be Head Boy like Percy!  
  
  
{RON WEASLEY exits stage left. HERMIONE GRANGER enters stage right. She is carrying an armload of books and is holding a sign that says, "Free the House Elves!"}  
  
  
HERMIONE GRANGER: [sing to the tune of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"]  
  
Someday, House Elves will be free  
And get clothes.  
Maybe decent wages,  
If S.P.E.W. works.  
  
RON WEASLEY: [from side of stage] It's spew!!!!  
  
  
{HERMIONE GRANGER huffs and storms off stage left, ready to kill RON WEASLEY. DRACO MALFOY enters stage right with his group of Slytherins following. He is wearing leather pants.}  
  
  
DRACO MALFOY: [sing to the tune of "Greased Lighting"]  
  
Hey all you Slytherins I am Draco Malfoy.  
  
SLYTHERINS:Go Draco! Go Draco!  
  
  
DRACO:I'm the king of Slytherin!  
  
S:Go Draco! Go Draco!  
  
D:If you make me mad,  
  
S:Uh, uh!  
  
D:I'll tell my dad!  
  
S:Uh, uh!  
  
D:'Cause I'm Draco Malfoy!  
  
  
{SNAPE enters from stage right and starts up a Cha-Cha line with all the Slytherins}  
  
  
SNAPE: [sing to the tune of the "Cha-Cha"]  
  
I am Potions master!  
Don't make me mad!  
Cuz I'm unfair with points!  
And I'll make you lose,  
The House Cup!  
  
Do not melt your cauldron!  
Cuz you'll find some poison,  
In your pumpkin juice!  
  
  
{MCGONAGALL enters from stage right. She looks mad.}  
  
  
MCGONAGALL: Severus! Stop this right now! It's my turn!  
  
  
{The Slytherins freeze and become deadly quiet. MCGONAGALL take center stage.}  
  
  
MCGONAGALL: [sing to the tune of the "Death March" (whatever the title is for that song)}  
  
I am Professor McGonagall.  
I don't show any favoritism.  
I am not afraid to take points from my own house.  
Don't break the rules or you'll be sorry.  
  
  
{MCGONAGALL exits stage left. As soon as she is gone SNAPE and the Slytherins start up the Cha-Cha line again.}  
  
  
SNAPE: I'll give detentions!  
If you break the rules!  
I need to take a shower!  
Cuz I am really greasy!  
But I don't know how!  
Cuz I am really stupid! Hey!  
  
  
{SNAPE and the Slytherins make their way off stage left. WINKY and DOBBY creep caustiously out from stage right, and make their way to center stage. When they sing, they do their version of the Macarena (meaning they TRY to do it)}  
  
  
HOUSE ELVES: [sing to the tune of the Stuttering Song (I forgot the name but most of you don't probably know it anyway. Just know it's a bouncy sort of song, and it's a good one to dance the Macarena to.)}  
  
WINKY: I is Winky, w-w-w-w-winky  
I is a g-g-g-good house elf  
So don't sack me p-p-please.  
  
I is Winky, w-w-w-w-winky  
I don't want no paying please!  
  
DOBBY:I is Dobby, d-d-d-d-dobby  
Dobby likes c-c-c-clothes  
And is liking p-p-pay.  
  
I is Dobby, d-d-d-d-dobby  
Dobby can call Dumbledore cookie!  
  
BOTH:We is House Elves, h-h-h-h-house elves  
We cook and c-c-c-clean for you  
  
We is house elves, h-h-h-h-house elves  
We don't tell masters secrets, oh no!  
  
  
{WINKY and DOBBY scamper off stage left. COLIN CREEVEY (and his camera) enters from stage right. He stands in the center of the stage, looking a little nervous.}  
  
  
COLIN CREEVEY: [sing to the tune of the Frosted Flakes song, "Hey Tony!"]  
  
Hey Harry!  
I like the things you do!  
Hey Harry!  
If I could I would be you!  
Could I take your picture?  
Or get your autograph?  
You know how to take Hogwarts and make it ggggggggreat!  
Hogwarts is so much better, WITH YOU!!!  
  
  
  
INTERMISSION (a little break for our actors)  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Well, that sounds like a good idea. Taking a break. Think we will too! Tell us what you thought! If you like it, we'll write more! We have plans already for Sirius and Remus and VOLDIE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
~WeasleyGirl and Rhiannon 


	2. Sirius, your mission: impossible

{NARCISSA walks out to the center of the stage.}  
  
NARCISSA [sing to the tune of "Where, Oh Where"]:  
  
Where, oh where has my Lucius gone Oh where oh where can he be?  
  
With his blonde hair so sleek and his elfish appearance Oh where oh where can he be?  
  
{Walks out stage right, looking dejected and lonely}  
  
{LUCIUS comes from stage left and stands in the center}  
  
LUCIUS [sing to the tune of "I'm A Little Teapot"]:  
  
I'm a little evil Tall and elfish Here is my long hair Here is my cane Move it Draco before I knock you down And kill all of the Muggle-borns.  
  
{He exits stage left.}  
  
{WORMTAIL enters from the trapdoor in the stage. He squeaks and looks scared.}  
  
WORMTAIL [sing to the tune of "Three Blind Mice"]:  
  
See the stupid traitor {points at himself} See the stupid traitor Look at him run Look at him run He'll run away to Voldie today To stay alive another day See the stupid traitor See the stupid traitor  
  
{He scampers off back through the trapdoor.}  
  
{VOLDEMORT enters from stage right}  
  
VOLDEMORT [to the tune of "I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts"]:  
  
I've got a lovely bunch of death-eaters, diddily diddily There they are a standing in a circle, bum bum bum Tall ones, fat ones, some as dumb as a rock  
  
{Trails off as he exits to someplace}  
  
{LUPIN enters from stage right}  
  
LUPIN [to the tune of the "Adams' Family"]:  
  
I really hate the full moon It's so bright and round It makes me get all hairy And really dangerous. Dun nu nu nun Dun nu nu nun Dun na nu nu nu HOWL!!!!  
  
{LUPIN runs off stage right clawing at himself.}  
  
{NEVILLE enters from the back}  
  
NEVILLE [sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells"]:  
  
Jingle Bells Voldie smells He tried to take over the world But Harry stopped him and now he's gone And Wormtail got away, OY!  
  
Running through the halls Trying not to be late Professor M. will kill me If I'm not on time One day I'll make it there Before the bell shall ring And everyone will be so proud And say "Neville you're so great!"  
  
{NEVILLE exits back}  
  
{SIRIUS enters in dog form and quickly transforms back to human form}  
  
SIRIUS [ sing to tune of Mission: Impossible theme]  
  
Trill....do do do I am Si-rius Black And I'm back Do do I am try-ing to kill Severus Snape Do do Harry is my godson And he's fun Do do 


End file.
